If you think about your house and living in your house and the boundary line you have around your home, then it's really clear what a boundary is.
All of us have either a really clear boundary around ourselves or we don't, and when we don't have clear boundaries, then people don't know if they're violating them or not, because if you don't have a clear boundary set up, then people don't know where it is.
This is episode 12, so if you want to go there and leave me some comments, today we're going to be talking about boundaries.
This is something that comes up with so many of my clients, and mainly, what people think boundaries are, they aren't.
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Most often people get confused about what boundaries are and what they are not.
You need to leave, we inform them that there has been a boundary violation and then we let them know what we are going to do because they have crossed our boundary. We're not talking about the physical boundary of our house, but we're talking about the boundary of our emotional life, of our physical life. Now it's really important to remember that the person that you're making the request of can continue to do whatever they would like to do. It is not a boundary violation until they come into our home or come into our car or come into our space, and notice how when I make the request, "Hey, if you continue to do that.", the consequence is the behavior that I will take.
What a boundary is it's a really clear request of somebody else with a really clear consequence. Let me give you an example of a really clear boundary. It's not you need to do this or you are going to die, something crazy like that.