They’re no longer the object of my affection, a mirror for my self-worth, or an affirmation of my beauty. The night Trump was elected, I wrote about feeling lonely.
I wanted to be comforted — but I wanted it to be by someone who had an inkling of the anxiety I felt for my family, my loved ones, and for myself.
Height, religion, career paths, Netflix show most recently watched, the list goes on and on. (This seems as good a time as any to mention that when I say “all my clients,” I do mean clients of all sexual orientations.
But of the 90% of the reported racial preferences, 89.9% are preferences for white people. Let’s not get heteronormative now; we’re only in the third paragraph.)Now, it gets tricky, because when a person sits down and says that they particularly want to date white people, they’re not thinking about the fact that the client before them, and the client after them, are saying the same thing.
” before heading for the door, but instead, I sit down, and continue talking about which dystopian novel best describes our current predicament, or whatever.
According to the 20 Hollywood Diversity Report, minorities “remain underrepresented on every front.” They’ve reported that “more than half of films had casts that were 10% minority or less.” (The Every Single Word Spoken project is a great illustration of this.) Hollywood is also hot. The problem is that no one is inundating us with hot Asian guys, or hot black women who aren’t Kerry Washington. Studies have shown that we are attracted to what we know and are used to, but as Deborah Ward writes, “Repeated exposure to certain people will increase our attraction toward them.” This means that a conscious change in behavior will impact subconscious desires. Whether workplaces to their goals of diversity is another, much longer, discussion, but the guidelines are there. But somehow, dating someone based on their skin is not.“White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else — and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively.” “Men don’t write black women back.” Their gay data reads the same: “Blacks get fewer responses.” Have you closed your browser and crawled into a hole to live out the rest of your days unencumbered by society and its bullshit yet?As is protocol with sweeping epidemics, people should start by honestly talking about the problem (see: for suggestions).They’re in the streets, calling senators and congressmen, attending community board meetings, and holding sign-making parties. But while the political universes of my white friends are cracking open, I’m feeling more inclined than ever to cloister myself.I’ve gone on a few dates with white guys in the last few months, and the same thing always happens.