Here’s the hard and fast truth about virgins and virginity: it’s a completely cultural construct.
When you strip away all of the value placed on sex and sexuality and look at it with an unemotional eye, virginity is a lack of a particular physical experience.
We are taught to measure a man’s value by the number of sex partners he’s had; the more women he’s seduced, the greater the value.
Wilt Chamberlin may have been a great basketball player, but he’s for his supposed number of conquests. Sure, he may have created one of the most iconic rock bands in history and written songs that continue to resonate with each generation of listeners… For them, sex is commodified as an equivalent to purity: the less sex she has had, the higher her value.
There is no difference between a person who has had sex and someone who hasn’t.
Some may have had physical intercourse with another person – oral sex, mutual masturbation, possibly even anal sex – but consider themselves virgins because they’ve never had penile/vaginal sex.
Still others will be unpleasantly needy or put all of their focus on just trying to find someone to sleep with, instead of dealing with them as people.
Small wonder that they have issues finding that first sex partner; it’s their that ends up causing them problems, rather than their relative state of inexperience.
The fear for guys is that by being a virgin past this nebulous date, they will have not only missed their chance to sew their wild oats – because of course, nobody over the age of 35 has no-strings-attached sex but they will be so clearly marked as “damaged goods” that no woman would possibly want them.
They live in fear that no woman would want to have to “show them the ropes” and as a result, their lack of experience will leave them completely incapable of living up to the demands and expectations of a more-experienced partner; thus they have effectively aged out of the dating market and are doomed to die alone, unloved and having never been naked with a girl.